😡 SBF Ruined Christmas & Cramer is bullish!

plus CoffeeZilla infiltrates Twitter spaces and Ledger, the Apple of Web3?


Viva la crypto as bears are crying that crypto is dead, wall street is bleeding as the markets digest J Powell’s words and Sams's contagion is still spreading.

aaaaand JFC Jimmy C has turned bullish and doesn't see a recession coming...by the laws of Inverse Cramer…..we are all done for!

And if you're like us we've been spending too much time writing love letters, Christmas cards and learning about quantum physics with OpenAi.

Today we look at how the white knight, CoffeeZilla, might just be saving Christmas from SBF and his goblins.

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🔥 The Big Topic - SBF Ruined Christmas!🗞 Hot News - Cramer doesn’t see a recession, Ledger to become the Apple of Web3, Gensler needs some cash, Gate.io’s recovery fund…publicity stunt? Business as usual for Amber Group and is Sushi diverting 100% xSushi for Xmas bonuses?!🛡 Chart of the day - $SPX, when does it stop?🦧 Thread of the day - Hoeem breaks down a bullish case for Fantom🎧 Podcast of the day - OPCryptoDegen joins the team to chat about the current and upcoming narratives in DeFi and web3

FFS Sam, can you just go back into your goblin cave, let us clear this mess up and enjoy Christmas?

We all know that Sam and his goblin squad ruined Christmas in spectacular fashion as the house of cards continues to crumble under a web of “I’m so so so sorry” interviews (did anyone else just sing that in their head like The Black Eye Peas?) that are plaguing mainstream media?

Sams's self-incriminating internet apology tour feels like he’s subtly sticking his fingers up at us all because he’s, so far, beat the system giving the impression this was an “oops my finger slipped” mistake that made over $8bn magical internet beans go poof vs criminal fraud.

But if this recent viewing of sweet Caroline getting a cuppa tea around the corner from an FBI field office is anything to go by…we may just have a glimmer (albeit small) of hope that Christmas is in fact saved.

Because Sam bro…your Mrs is about to send you to goblin town in the name of the people. It’s a shame that it wasn’t BitBoy that did it…but beggars can’t be choosers at this stage.

Enter the White Knight, Coffeezilla.

Cryptos #1 alpha ape detective who articulates the cold hard facts in such a way that leaves SBF, in this interview, stuttering like a teenage boy who’s just told his dad he’s crashed that car after spinning doughnuts in the local shopping center car park trying to impress a girl.

Sam got rekt harder than my micro-cap bags as Coffeezilla successfully managed to infiltrate multiplate Twitter spaces, each time picking up where he left off applying the most awkward pressure on someone I have ever heard.

IMO, Coffeezilla needs to be the one asking these tough questions in front of congress on the 13th Dec so those that didn’t get paid off can make a fair decision!

The TLDR; → Sam wasn’t aware of what was going on→ Sam never had all the details→ Sam was overstretched (awww bless)→ Sam made a whoopsie accounting error……and the kick in the nuts is Sam thinks FTX US could return all the funds tomorrow if they wanted

Oh…but wait…Sam is happy to testify, but in his own time?! As this tweet feels like he’s going to delay the inevitable (because he’s sorry and didn’t know) and once again…be in a position to ruin Christmas.

Now reading between lines, and this would be a major twist in the plot line, and this might just be how my degen brain processes information…but what if this whole FTX fiasco was some weird and nerdy love story between Sam and Caroline that spiraled out of control?! because he said she said that she said he said?!

Logging out of Twitter for 5 minutes…both Orthogonal and Nexus are the latest victims of this bah humbug Christmas Carol whilst Sam is set to begin filming his epic 8 part Amazon Prime mini-series.

Our Take

The evidence is there and he’s making a mockery of our industry whilst ruining Christmas for each and every person who has funds stuck on the exchange.

My hope is that the best crypto twitter internet detectives manage to swing the kind of influence that has Sam being protected from the likes of Bitboy and Gabriel Haines as they came hunting (well…just a holiday really) for him down in the Bahamas.

Ledger to become the Apple of Web3 as the crypto wallet company partners with legendary Apple iPod creator Tony Fadel to create the Ledger Stax a sleek sexy credit card-sized wallet to make hodling your crypto that much cooler.

Co-Founder of NFT platform Blockparty charged with swindling over $1m in cash and crypto to buy luxury goods.

The Gate.io recovery fund, taking inspiration from CZ’s $1bn crypto recovery fund Gate.io launch a $100m offering up to $10m for participants. For the people? or for the publicity to clean up their image after the recent Twitter phishing attack.

Ether Is Now a Security; My Bill Might Have Stopped FTX says US Sen. Cynthia Lummis. Come on now, no one like a smart aleck!

Genesis withdrawals are still frozen with no relief in the short term BUT “Genesis operations – namely, trading and custody services – remain fully operational.”

Gensler, happy to continue but does need more money. Did Gensler get rekt in the FTX crash like so many? Has SBFs funding dried up? Or is Gensler now just clinging to straws as he continues to push for more regulation and a broader reach?

ChatGPT aka The End Game. The AI bot has taken the internet by storm, degens have been writing love stories, failing students now A* and basement dwellers now have an AI chatbot to talk to. A combination of brilliance and weirdness all wrapped into one and Twitter is obsessed.

FTX loss = Robinhoods gain, with CEO Vlad Tenev saying “Crypto is here to stay” as the publicly traded stock has seen steady growth since FTX’s collapse and despite SBF holding over 7% this did not indicate an official partnership. SBF, is infact, just a hodler.

Business as usual for the crypto firm Amber Group, despite the sad passing of their founder and the reports of mass layoffs. In a recent statement “Weathering through market cycles, we have to constantly adjust and pivot our business strategies, product offerings, and, as a result, internal teams and functions” and claim “the company had no exposure to Alameda Research".”

SushiSwap is in trouble and no its not from an angry horse. The defi protocol proposes immediate action to divert 100% of xSushi fees to its treasury due to being on the “verge of bankruptcy.” Will the new tokenomics help or is this an early Christmas present for the devs?

Jim Cramer is bullish and apparently doesn’t see a recession coming. By the rules of inverse Cramer…its’s game over!

Our Take

The markets are macro-driven and any movement is usually down to the news, the numbers or Mr. J Powell speaking as inflation is still here and the workforce isn’t quite doing what JP wants it to do.

The SPX is at a crucial point in the charts and we can but hope that this is going to be a bullish retest leading into the FOMC next week.

50 bps is expected BUT 75bps isn’t out of the question. We’ve got a lot of work to do anon to get this marketing pumping again.

Bull case, a retest of 3900 pushing back up towards the 4200 Bull Zone.

Bear case, slice through 3900 heading back down to finally test the pre-pandemic levels sitting around the 3300 mark.

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The latest thread

In Mondays Alpha Ape we looked at Fantom’s latest governance proposal, Gas Monetisation. Our good friend Hoeem breaks down a bullish case for the Fantom ecosystem and why it should be on our radars.

The latest podcast

Grant sat down with OP crypto degen to discuss the current and upcoming narratives in DeFi and web3. Grant and EZ are very much narrative and sentiment-driven investors so it was good to discuss what we think the next big moves will be in the crypto markets.

Tune in on YouTube or Spotify.

And that’s it anon, from the whole team we hope you enjoyed it!

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